A Family Bond

If you have read any of my other posts, you know that I have anxiety, along with some other mental health issues. If you haven’t, well you know now. What you might not know is that my wife and daughter also suffer from anxiety.

My wife is an amazing women. She’s smart, funny and a very passionate person. A few years ago she was diagnosed with rheumatoid and psoriatic arthritis. These are chronic illnesses that cause her to suffer from severe physical pain — every day.

On top of this she has anxiety and depression. Some days are worse then others, but most days it’s hard for her to even get out of bed. Even so, she still works full time.

To make things harder, my daughter was diagnosed with extreme social anxiety. She eventually got to the point where she was terrified to go anywhere or be with anyone that wasn’t my wife or myself. Some nights she would stay up all night, terrified to go to sleep.

We have worked with doctors and counselors, and we eventually started working out the problem. She now sleeps through the night, and goes to all of her appointments with a smile. School on the other hand was a traumatic experience for her. We decided to withdraw her, and we are now starting our first full year of homeschooling.

Ive stayed home with my daughter since she was a few months old, and I love the quality time we’ve had together. The only problem is, I also worked 9 hours overnight as a manager for the last 5 years. I hardly ever slept and it made my mental health issues worsen. I honestly don’t know how I did it.

Last May I got injured and eventually needed surgery. I broke down mentally and now am back to having daily panic attacks and severe social anxiety. I am trying to work my way back to a place where I can leave my home to work, but I am just not there yet.

I try to look at this as a sign from the universe, that I need to slow down and focus on myself and my family. I never thought I would leave my job, even with ADHD and PTSD, I was somehow great at it. I now know that I can be great at many things as long as I continue down my path of healing.

I am totally blessed to have a family. There are good days and bad days, and while we all have anxiety, we will not be defined by it.

If anything defines my family; it is our unconditional love.

Do you have mental health issues? If so, do you feel that people try to define you by your mental health, instead of the person you are?


10 thoughts on “Anxiety

  1. maria pavlova says:

    It certainly is a sign from universe that however you were handling things was not the right way.
    Perhaps the job was not right for you, and/or the long hours eventually wore you down, there was probably a conflict of not balancing work/family life, then a traumatic event will result in a break down. I think there is overemphasis in our society on anxiety/adhd/ etc being mental illnesses. All these feelings are quite human and it is our ability to do things that are right for us at particular times in our life and ability to deal with stress (each person has different tolerance to different types of stress) that will ensure our well-being/health. I think it is about understanding yourself, being gentle when you need to and abandoning unneeded judgments and obligations. If both parents suffer from anxiety, it is quite common that their child will as well, especially if the child has a sensitive nature.

    It is better to think of yourself as a being not as ‘person with mental health issues’.. Often the reason why one may think someone defines him/her this way is because he/she does so internally.

    As far as jobs, it really is not very important in the context of who you are as a human being and your place in the universe. When time is right, you will find something, hopefully more right for you.


    • One Regular Dad says:

      Once again, you are right. It was definitely the time to leave that job, new things are a struggle for me.
      I definitely don’t let my mental health, job, hobbies or even family define me.
      I look at myself as a conscious observer of life, who happens to be locked in this particular vessel at this moment in time.

      Thanks again, you offer some truly helpful advice.


  2. maria pavlova says:

    Very welcome, glad it is helpful.
    You are not ‘locked’ though (the verbiage you chose makes me think that you feel like a prisoner of you mind/body) ultimately it is about being free in your embodied self.
    Being embodied is also a gift – experience of Life happens through being in the body.


  3. deeogutu says:

    I love the fact that you talk about your situation so openly because people in my society don’t talk about mental health issues, there is like a stigma associated with it, hence people end up suffering in silence… Talking about it raises awareness on how to help other people going through the same, so thank you for that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • One Regular Dad says:

      Your welcome, and one of the reasons I try to be so open is to remove the stigma that is “mental health”.

      I live in a country, where our government and media are quick to blame acts of violence and tragedy’s on “mental health”.

      Thank you for reading.


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