Sharing is Caring

My wife an I share everything, we have an open line of communication, and we use it. We also happen to share abusive childhoods, anxiety, PTSD and depression. At least we have each other.

While some days are hard, others are amazing. That’s the ups and downs of life. If you follow my posts regularly, then all of this is old news.

One thing I have not mentioned is my physical conditions. My wife and I also share chronic joint pain, though hers is way worse, and very devastating.

My wife has RA, and it took her doctors two years to diagnose her. She went through a myriad of specialists, and she even works with orthopedic surgeons.

Those of you who don’t know what RA is, it’s an auto immune disorder that attacks every joint in your body. This can eventually lead to physical deformities, the inability to walk, blindness and even death

I had a workplace injury, where I slipped fell and ended up dislocating my left shoulder. I had already dislocated my right shoulder months before that (also at work), and I was scheduled to have surgery on the right shoulder in 3 weeks.

This of course meant I couldn’t use either arm, so I was out of work, and still am. I have decided not to go back to work, and instead focus on my writing and more importantly, my family.

I worked a very physical job overnights, barley ever slept and it was obviously doing a number on my body.

I did this for 5 years and the last 3 were when the pain started really building up.

I was always sore and exhausted. I attributed this pain to my working conditions and lack of sleep. Now it’s almost 3 months later and I am still exhausted and in chronic pain.

I just got blood work yesterday. I hate waiting to find out what might or might not be wrong with me. My mind goes in every direction and it’s hard not to freak out over conditions I probably don’t even have.

Knowing this, I am trying not to freak out, I am pretty sure I don’t have anything as severe as my wife does, but she thought the same thing before she got diagnosed.

I will continue to center myself and be patient. This could be nothing serious and it might get diagnosed quickly.

I obviously don’t want to wait years to figure this out, but if I have to, I’ll just be as proactive and positive as a I can.

This is a big deal for me, because I went over a decade without ever seeing a doctor. I was terrified of them, but now I am determined to take care of myself so that I can be around for my family, as long as humanly possible.

The pain is hard, but I use my wife as inspiration, if she can push through daily and still work full time, then I will continue to do the same.

I say this all the time, but seriously thank you to everyone that’s reached out to me and continued to support me on this journey through life.

I started writing as therapy, but I had know idea how much this would help. If you have any advice or you just want to reach out feel free to comment or email me.

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As always have a great day.