How Do You Define Yourself?

One thing I struggled with when I was younger, was being myself. I used to pretend that I liked music, movies, games and hobbies just to fit in. This lead me to doing a lot of things I didn’t want to do or enjoy at all.

I would wait for other people to talk and I would try to mirror them and act in a way I thought they would approve of. I ended up getting so nervous about how other people saw me, that I forgot to look at how I saw myself.

The truth is, I spent a long time thinking I was worthless, damaged, broken and undeserving of love or attention. I didn’t realize it back then, but the real reason I was afraid to be myself around other people, was I didn’t like myself.

“Be yourself, everyone else is taken.”

—Oscar Wilde

Back then I felt week and full of shame, but now I am strong. I know that my abuse wasn’t my fault and I can’t let it define me. I needed to look inside to find the real answers about who I truly am.

Fast forward to a decade later, and while I am the first to admit that I have a lot of progress to make regarding my mental health, I do love being me.

I don’t always love parts of myself, but I am working on that. I no longer hide who I am. I stopped lying to other people and myself. We are all together in this world, each of us someone different.

I spent a lot of time question myself. I kept trying to define who I was based on the opinions of others. I figured out a few things, and the answers to what I think defines us is below.

The answer is surprisingly simple.

Age, race, gender, sexual orientation, nationality, religion, medical conditions, interests and opinions don’t define who any of us are.

It doesn’t matter what you look like, we focus too much on weight and external beauty, that we miss how beautiful we are on the inside.

We are all human beings and we all deserve love, and the freedom to be who we want to be.

There is so much hate and persecution in the world, that we don’t need to practice self-hate.

So, we define ourselves. There’s no right answer. As long as your happy, safe and not hurting others, be the you, you were meant to be.

I know it can be hard and some people are forced to hide who they are publicly, but you must hold onto your identity. We are all unique and amazing people, we just need to believe it ourselves.

I have a challenge for you. Find a mirror, look into it and stare at yourself. Don’t judge your appearance, just really look at your inner-self.

Are you happy with who you are?

Do you even recognize who you’ve become?

You are the only one who should decide who you are. So be the best you, that you can be.

Thank you all for supporting me as I continue down my path in life. I try to be true to myself everyday and I know it can be hard to be you when you’ve been hiding behind lies for so long.

I know I’ve been pretty repetitive, but I do it because I believe in this so much. I think the world would be a better place if we all believed in ourselves.

Please comment below if you’ve ever felt like you couldn’t be you. You can also email me at:, if you would like me to post your story anonymously.

The hope in writing this, is that everyone who reads my posts knows they are not alone.

Most of us struggle with our true identity, so be true to you, and have a great day.


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