My OCD in The Past
I’ve had OCD since I was a little kid. I used to obsess over the smallest of things; a comment from a friend or a reprimand from a parent.
I also have a tendencies to over organize and arrange items in a certain way.
As an example:
When I go shopping, I have to separate everything by dairy, frozen etc. Now I am sure people do this, in fact working at a grocery store, I saw people who liked everything separately, so no big deal there.
Except I don’t allow any of my food overlap, so no stacking on top, and all of the labels have to face forward. Also every Item has to be straight no crooked angles. I get some weird looks, but it’s just something I do.
Another example is that when I get anxiety I go into super cleaning mode, like taking everything out of the cabinets and vacuuming them, scrubbing them, rewashing clean dishes, reorganized the pantry.
In the past I have spent hours, days or weeks obsessing over things to the point where I would be neglectful to my own responsibilities and my own health.
Working with my therapist and with practice I have changed how I try and manage my OCD.
Handling my OCD
One of the things that helped me really get a handle on my OCD was coming to the realization that one of the reasons I was obsessing so much was that I felt powerless. Because of my childhood abuse, I needed someway to control my life and this was how my mind did it.
I have now accepted that I can’t control everything in my life and that while I can control some things, obsessing over them strips my control over myself.
Now while those things help, I still find myself obsessing, but I now do one thing that keeps me from o rely obsessing.
Lists, Lists, Lists
Now while writing lists for everything would be counterproductive. It would just be another way to try and control my life. So I only make a few lists.
I have a daily list, that has all of my responsibilities on it plus simple things like make breakfast, take meds, take a shower etc.
It might sound like overboard but between the OCD and the ADHD, I have forgotten to do all those things in the past.
This list has actually helped me stay focused and kept my day on track.
The other list I use, is my project list. I give myself one cleaning project a day so that I don’t obsess over 16 different cleaning tasks.
Though to be honest, over the last few months I’ve had so much pain that cleaning has been the last thing on my mind.
So that’s how I do it. I am still working on my mental and physical health, and I take it one day at a time.
As always have a great day.