Bad Days

Let’s face it, some days suck. You feel like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed and stumbled down a cliff through a patch of cacti.

I had a day when I lost my wallet and realized it after everything was wrung up. I had a cart overflowing with food, after shopping for an hour. I had to abandon it, which I hated doing, because I worked in a supermarket for years. I only had 30 minutes to get to my Drs. appointment, which I missed and had to reschedule for a month later.

Those are the days when it feels like the worlds out to get you. People just want you to fail, of course that’s almost never the case, but once we get in that mindset it’s easy to feel that way.

That’s an inconvenient day, but it can still be hard to stay positive, and you risk backsliding emotionally. I have to be vigilant of my anger on those days.

I am sure we all have days like that. Maybe not that exact same scenario, but close enough. It’s not impossible to turn those days into a good day, and honestly the biggest reason things get worse and worse on those days, might have to do with our attitudes.

I mean if we think the day is going to be terrible, or that we have bad luck, we tend to bring it onto ourselves

The same goes for positive thoughts. Now I am not saying we can make our lives perfect and keep all the bad away, by thinking and hoping it away. I just feel that a lot of how bad or good our day is, is influenced by our perception.

Now there are days that range from slightly bad to OMG WHY ME!. Lets dive into one of those life changing days.

Life Changing Days

Life Changing days are rare. They affect us for our entire life. That’s not to say they are all bad.

I mean the day I got married and the day my daughter was born, were two of the best days of my life.

They also changed the course of my life forever.

Those days seem to fly by. You get a high from them that lasts days, weeks and sometimes even months. Truly beautiful moments in our lives.

Then there are the other kind. These days can drag you down into a dark pit of despair, just by thinking about them. These are the days that you’re broken; either physically, mentally or spiritually (sometimes all three at once).

Now while the positive (Once in a lifetime) days fly by and usually have a buildup that can last up to years. The negative ones can strike in a matter of seconds.

My youth was one big life changing day. Can’t really pick out specifics from then, but I have two stories to share. One an instant changer and the other not so much.

The Accident

I’ve been in a few auto accidents. One of them was truly terrifying for me.

I slid down a hill in the middle of winter and smashed into a plow truck (If you’ve never seen one, they are built like bulldozers). I moved that thing 100 feet and spun around half a dozen times, until I was stopped by a light post.

I totaled the car, and was covered in glass, but miraculously didn’t get anything more then a few scratches on me.

There was a piece of metal frame that was about 6 inches from my face, which probably would killed me if it jutted out anymore.

I won’t lie I was scared shitless of driving for awhile after this accident. I definitely didn’t go down that hill anymore.

I had to drive though, since my wife can’t. So I took it slow, got anxiety behind the wheel. It changed the way I looked at driving.

I used to love to drive. Felt like I was in control. Then the accident stripped that away from me.

After about 6 months I started going that way again and eventually I was able to overcome the trauma.

I now look at the situation as an example of how lucky we are to be on this planet and how that can change in a matter of seconds. That day changed my life for the better, just didn’t know until way after the wounds healed.

Sometimes scars can make good reminders of what is really important in life.

The following story is really hard for me to talk about. It just makes me miss a man that was very important to me.

The Death of My Uncle

I watched my uncle slowly die from cancer. He stayed with us for awhile, and watching him just wither before my eyes was devastating. I was mad at God for doing this to him. I didn’t understand why this had to happen to people (and honestly I still don’t).

Watching him pass away was so hard for me, I had looked up to him for years. He was a great musician, and an absolute genius when it came to computers.

More importantly then that he was a kind man, that made me feel special.

I had a hard time going into hospitals after that. I lost my shit and got trashed. Did some things I am not proud of.

This mans death and the slow torture he went through leading up to it were completely terrible. That being said, at least his death released him from the pain that was plaguing his body.

I hold his memories in my heart and mind, so he is never really gone from my life.

We had so many moments together that I cherish, but the one that stands out in my mind the most, is when I was starting to question my writing ability.

I hadn’t written in months, and he had happened to pick up one of my notebooks that I wrote in.

He read a story in there and took me aside later that day. He told me I had a rare gift to capture a moment and create it on the page, and it would be a shame not to share that with others.

Anytime I want to stop writing, I think of my uncle and I refuse to let him down.

His death still makes me sad, but I use his words as encouragement and in that way, he changed my life by telling me to never give up.

It’s amazing how the worst days in our life can be turned around and used to motivate us, or to give us a cause worth fighting for.

The abuse I went through and the years of not having a voice, gives me the courage to fight for those who can’t fight for themselves.

One of my favorite sayings is “One day at a time.”.

There is just something powerful in that meaning for me.

No matter if it’s a bad, terrible or inconceivable day, I try to take it moment by moment and day by day.

You can’t rush the healing process, but you have to live and strive for change to heal.

To everyone out there that’s been impacted by trauma or abuse, you’re not alone. There are other people here for you, and if you need anything send me an email.

I truly want to help and I hope you understand that we are all on our own journeys in life, but that doesn’t mean we don’t all need help from time to time.

As always, have a great day.