Sliding upwards, Balanced slightly. Blinding light, Stagger nightly. Demonic fright, Unnerving screams. Shadowed by forever dreams. Unshakable pressure to preform Backed by an emotional storm. Empty feeling, The darkness appealing. Directionally challenged... Fate holds cards, it should not be dealing. CT as
Running fast and feeling great. This last month has been crazy and hard, but totally worth it. I’ve been working as much as possible in-between spending time with my family and starting my business. Staying indoors is my thing anyway, and now I have something to focus on. I have a tendency to go overboard … Continue reading Quickest Month Ever
I’ve been having a hard time writing lately, I just feel like I am in survival mode. I know that my PTSD keeps me in fight or flight some days, well most days. Hyper vigilance is amazing when things go sideways, because my body and mind are both just waiting for conflict. The bad part … Continue reading Hyper Vigilante
I’ve been spending the last few weeks spending my time and energy on my family. My wife has a compromised immune system and my daughter has asthma so I’ve been slightly stressed since January. I live in the USA and we’re so unprepared as a country that it’s scary. So we’ve been self quarantined for … Continue reading A Time for Togetherness
Searching for answers. Can lead to countless questions. Best to let it go.
So I’ve been having some really in-depth and intense conversations about emotions lately. I know a lot of the poetry I write is chock filled with what I call “emotional vomit”. I just have these emotions and instead of letting them pass I like to let them inspire me. Their not always positive emotions, some … Continue reading Emotions
I spent most of my life as a slave to my emotions. I would get angry or sad on a whim. It was frustrating and damaging. It’s extremely difficult to be successful when your mood changes on a dime. I tanked a few jobs and pushed some great people out of my life because of … Continue reading Emotional Intelligence
Some days I seem to be doing amazing, everything clicks and I feel like I might be able to escape the nightmarish landscape that is my mind. I usually get overly excited and try to embrace the world around me. I grab these moments and hold them tightly, because they never last. I eventually crash … Continue reading The Dome
Shaking. Fetal and cold. Alone. Story untold. Waiting. Hating. Debating. Noise without action. Can’t gain traction. Still life. Still strife. Frozen in place. No light, No fight or flight. Just this eternal night.
Lately I feel like I am not living life. It’s like I am stuck in a film, and I am watching this version of myself on a loop. It’s beyond predictable and redundant, it’s disheartening. I know that I need structure, but I feel like the borg someday; fully assimilated (This is a super nerdy … Continue reading Trapped