Being Strong, but Feeling Weak
When our daughter was first born she always seemed to be in pain. We had watched the “Purple Screaming” video, but nothing prepares you for endless screaming. She had a lot of trouble sleeping and eating. There was a lot of sleepless nights, and we were stressed to the max.
By the time she was three months old, she was back to her birth weight. It’s hard not to feel like a failure when your child is in that much pain, but you push through it because that’s what parents do.
Eventually the doctors figured out what was wrong, and we changed to a formula that worked for her. Thankfully it wasn’t anything serious and she started to gain weight. The support of our family and friends helped us stay on track. The one thing that didn’t help, was a constant stream of advice we didn’t ask for.
Focus on your Child’s Needs
Why do some people assume that you need their advice? I am positive that anyone who has a child has at one point heard, “You should do this.”, or “Why are you doing that?”.
I would like to think that this “advice” is meant to be helpful, but most of the time it had the opposite effects for us. We already felt like failures and now had people confirming our fears.
It took us a few years to understand that our child was our responsibility and we needed to focus on her needs, not what others thought of our parenting style. I think it’s important to ask for advice and seek counsel when you hit those rough spots in life. You can’t know everything and it definitely helps to have a good support system.
I will say this, if someone forces their so called “advice” down your throat, smile and don’t listen to that shit.
So, to all the would be advice givers out there, if you weren’t asked for your opinion, keep it to yourself.
Have you ever gotten advice that was unwarranted? How do you deal with people who try to dictate parts of your life?